Sebastian's illness
by CSMichaelis
Summary: Set during the illness mentioned in "His Butler broken" Ciel takes care of Sebastian their relationship begins. Ciel and Sebastian pairing no flames no "you're going to hell comments. If you don't approve you needn't click on this story
1. Chapter 1

Sebastian woke to find Ciel at his side. The young demon was asleep at the moment which allowed the former butler a chance to recall the events that led them to this moment in time. Sebastian shifted uncomfortably in bed, he had never felt so ill and yet he knew that as long as Ciel was with him, it would soon pass.

The older demon was grateful to his former master, without him, Sebastian would not be alive. In an effort to provide Sebastian with food, Ciel had released him from his contract Much to the demon's dismay. They soon parted ways leaving Sebastian to worry constantly, ignoring his hunger for the sake of knowing his Ciel was safe. He became ill with severe stomach pains and weakness, even through all of his suffering, his master never left his mind. He had fallen in love with him.

Ciel had also been thinking about his butler and was surprised one evening by a visit from Alois Trancy who swore Sebastian was dying, that night, Sebastian had confessed his love to Ciel and was amazed to find Ciel shared the feeling. It had only been three days since Ciel had offered the feeding to Sebastian.

A sacrifice given willingly and out of love, the only thing that would save Sebastian from death and it had come from his beloved Ciel. He hadn't expected it and at the words "I love you too" that came from the young demon, Sebastian's heart leapt with joy

"My beautiful Ciel, I shall forever be grateful to you,you have made me happy beyond my wildest dreams,you saved my life and you look upon my true form with not fear, but affection. How do I repay you my love?" Sebastian whispered weakly.

"Get better, that's all I want you to do." Ciel replied catching Sebastian off guard.

"You are too good to me my Ciel. After all you and I have gone through -"

"That's why I'm here. You would have done anything for me, you even said you would have done it without the contract. The countless times you saved my life, a life that wasn't worth -"

"You must never say such things. Your life as a human was worth more than you realize."

"The things I've done, or had you do are -"

"Ciel, my treasure, all you have done has benefited someone in your life in one way or another. I know it is difficult to see that even now but you must believe me." Ciel leaned forward and stroked Sebastian's black hair softly, taking the older demon's hand in his free one.

"You always know what to say. You've changed from the days of our contract and so have I never said thank you for all the little things that weren't part of the contract but you did anyway. Thinking back to my human days, the cake on my birthday, it wasn't something you were forced do for me. The moments that you would throw little hints at me when I needed guidance there was so much more. I didn't see it then, and it means a lot to me that you were that way for me. Especially since I had no family."

"That's what love is Ciel. I wanted good things for you then and still do. I wouldn't say that you had no family however, Lady Elizabeth loves you very much as well as Mey-Rin Bard, Tanaka and Finny. The servants may not have been blood but I believe I would go so far as to call them family."

"I'm glad I was you Sebastian." Ciel said honestly.

"I am happy you feel that way. Though I'm sorry I could not protect you from this, I could not save you the night you- As much as I love you, I didn't want you to be condemned to this life, you are far too special to be a demon."

"I want to be here. If I had the choice, I'd be right here with you always, this is where I belong. I think maybe I was meant to be with you. Right now though, the healer wants you to rest. I'll bring you some more to eat in a few minutes."

"Don't push yourself Ciel. My life is not worth yours."

"I'm fine. The healer gave me something to take after I take care of you." Ciel explained.

"Did he?" The young demon nodded and reached over to the floor where he grabbed the bottle and held it out to Sebastian who looked it over closely.

"He said it will be fine to take this until I can get something."

"It doesn't seem to be doing much for you. Cynna saw you earlier look like you were going to fall over."

"Don't worry, I didn't."

"I know, he would have come to me immediately if you had."

"You really have him check on me?"

"Certainly, I don't have the strength at the present time to get out of bed and look after you myself." Ciel smiled faintly.

"You're the one that's ill, you shouldn't be worried about me."

"For me to not be concerned would be close to you not wanting chocolate. It will never happen. I love you far too much to not worry, especially when you are making such a sacrifice."

"It's not a problem for me Sebastian. I want you to be okay. It's not -"

"If you are by my side Ciel, I will have the ability to get through anything. If not for you, I would not have the strength to go on, say you will always be with me."

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Just rest now and we'll talk later." Ciel said softly.

"As you wish my love. So long as you swear I will see you when I awake."

"I'll be right here, always."


	2. Chapter 2

The night was dark and still as Ciel sat on the bench, Sebastian's heart was breaking, he knew what was going to happen as he stood in front of Ciel. He did his best to keep his usual tone as they spoke.

"Does it hurt?" The boy had asked, Sebastian was surprised by his master's calm demeanor.

"I'm afraid it does a bit, I shall be as gentle as I can." Sebastian vowed. Again he was shocked by Ciel's request to be as brutal as he wanted.

"Young Master, if only you could read my mind, I want nothing more than to find some way to keep you alive. You are very precious to me and I am nothing without you. I cannot harm you. I need you by my side always." Sebastian thought silently as he moved closer to Ciel.

The boy leaned back and closed his eyes. Sebastian was grateful, if they hadn't been closed Ciel would surely have noticed the tears in his eyes. He could not show such weakness to his master when the boy was showing strength.

The demon reached out to the Earl and pulled him from the bench into his arms.

"Young Master, you mustn't leave me, not ever. I love you, I cannot bear to see you this way. Come back to me. I do not regret you,you must breathe, you are the only one I have ever loved." The butler sobbed bowing his head as his tears fell on Ciel's chest. Sebastian suddenly lifted his head to the sky. He let out a long, mournful cry, his pain was gripping his heart as the butler disappeared and was replaced by the beast that was his true self.

"Sebastian!' The shout startled him from his sleep and he looked up to see Ciel now sitting on the edge of the bed with him. His blue eyes wide with worry. Sebastian reached up and placed his hand on Ciel's face.

"You're here." He said simply, tears streaming from his crimson eyes.

"Of course I am, I told you I wasn't going anywhere. What's wrong?"

"I- nothing, it doesn't matter now. All that does is that you're right here." Sebastian tried to sit up but Ciel placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Not yet. The healer said you shouldn't." Ciel said.

"What happened Sebastian, why were you make that sound?"

"Sound?" Sebastian asked confused.

"Yes, it was loud and really sad." Ciel bowed his head. "It was..painful to hear that coming from you."

"I apologize my love, I had no intention of causing you pain. I had the most terrible dream, of the night you died as a human, I was so heartbroken that I -" Ciel bent down and hugged Sebastian tight.

"Is that what it sounded like, the noise you told me about?"

"Yes. I felt as though I would die with you, that sound can only come from true despair that grips the heart until it has been shattered by the sorrow that shakes us to our very core. Simply put, it isn't easy to cause a demon to produce that sound, we must suffer beyond anything imaginable in order for it to happen."

"Sebastian, I-I'm here now and you'll never have to feel that pain again. I love you." Ciel gave him an extra tight squeeze.

"I love you too. I'm so happy to hear you say those words, they help more than you know. I am grateful for your love and caring." Ciel smiled faintly and raised the goblet to the older demon before helping him up.

"Drink slowly. How do you feel?" Sebastian took a small sip, each time he did so, his stomach pain lessened temporarily.

"A little better now, thank you. You're going to remember to take the liquid the healer left you aren't you?"

"I always do. Are you sure your stomach feels okay?"

"For the moment there is very little pain. It is a tremendous relief."

"Good. When you finish, you should lie down again and save your strength. You're going to need it to get well." Sebastian emptied the goblet and leaned back against the headboard. Ciel placed several pillows behind the older demon.

"Ciel, you don't have to -"

"It's part of taking care of you, I want to do it." Ciel took the goblet and set it on the bedside table before standing up. Sebastian took hold of his wrist.

"Come here Ciel." He requested, Ciel allowed himself to be pulled onto the bed as Sebastian held him and began to nuzzle him gently. Ciel smiled.

"That feels nice, I can feel how much you love me." He said enjoying the feeling of happiness and love that was filling his heart.

"Well perhaps I should do this more often. This is a demon's way of showing deep affection. Sebastian explained.

"it's nice. When you're better, I'd like for you to but until then, focus on your health. We have all the time in the world to do such things." The young demon said standing up and helping Sebastian get comfortable in bed.

"Remember Ciel, you must take care of yourself as well."

"I will, I promise. Get some rest now, I need you back to normal."

"Soon my love, you are so devoted to my wellbeing that I shall be up and about in no time."


	3. Chapter 3

The pain was getting to him, he could no longer rest easily. Ciel had fallen asleep and Sebastian refused to wake him for selfish reasons. He decided he would wait as long as he could. The decision was one he regretted almost immediately after making it.

The former butler shifted slightly in an effort to make himself more comfortable, this only worsened the suffering.

"Master Sebastian, are you alright, should I get the healer?" Cynna asked rushing in.

"No, it will pass." Sebastian replied.

"You need your treatment, Master Ciel is right here, I can-"

"I know where he is, let him sleep."

"But master, if you don't have your -"

"I will have it. Ciel would not deny me what I need to survive. I know this much."

"I also know it, however, how can he give it if he is sleeping?"

"I shall wait." Sebastian suddenly growled softly, turning his head so that his face was on the pillow to muffle the sound.

"I'm waking him. Punish me as you like Master, I cannot allow you to suffer."

Sebastian didn't respond, he had begun biting the pillow to further quiet himself. He felt ashamed for having to wake the young demon. He listened as Cynna woke Ciel and explained the situation to him. Ciel sighed heavily and Sebastian soon felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Sebastian, are you trying to kill yourself?" Ciel's voice seemed to have a mixture of astonishment and anger.

"Certainly not, though I must say that at this moment, it is tempting."

"This could have been avoided, I was right beside you,what the hell were you thinking?" Cynna helped Sebastian up and Ciel gave him the goblet. Sebastian drank it quicker than he normally would.

When he had finished, the pain had gone down considerably. He tried to ignore the discomfort that remained.

"Do you need more?"

"You cannot give me anymore at the moment Ciel, It takes quite a bit from you to give me the usual amount. I will not ask you to -"

"Are you still hurting ?" Ciel's tone had softened as he spoke.

"I-"

"Don't try to protect me from it, I've been through a lot, I can handle this."

"Of course you can, You are a strong demon whether you realize it or not. It is not your job to -"

"Are you?"

"Yes." Ciel filled the goblet again and gave it to Sebastian. Cynna steadied the young demon as Ciel began to sway slightly.

A rush of dizziness hit Ciel suddenly and he felt as if he might pass out. He faintly heard Sebastian ask him if he was alright.

"I'm fine, I just need to sit down."

"Cynna, bring Ciel to me."

Ciel felt himself beginning lifted from the floor and though he heard the voices, he couldn't make out the words. Sebastian's arms were around him now holding him close and Ciel rested his head on the older demon's chest.

"Ciel, I want you to take the liquid." Cynna held a glass to Ciel's mouth and the young demon drank slowly until it was empty, he started to feel better almost immediately. Though he still felt faint.

"Are you alright Ciel?"

"I'm getting there." Ciel replied.

"I apologize for this, I never should have -"

"Sebastian?"

"Yes Ciel?"

"Shut up and stop being sorry."

"I didn't want you to feel like this, I love you very much." Sebastian said cuddling Ciel gently.

"I love you too, that's why I don't mind feeling this way, it's only temporary,but I need you to stop putting it off until you have that much pain. I don't like seeing you in pain, it hurts me. If you need it and I'm not awake, wake me up. I need you to be okay."

"Need me to be or want me to be?"

"Both. There's a reason I gave the order to be my butler forever."

What reason is that?"

"There won't ever be a day that I don't want you or need you with me. But even then you could have prevented this illness. I told you to take my my soul before I -"

"It was my choice to make.I chose to be yours forever. Though at the time I hadn't realized that you would be forced into this existence."

"If you had, you wouldn't be ill now."

"This illness is worth every second of pain. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You're just saying that."

"No. You've truly became an irreplaceable part of my life. You have saved my life,you my dear Ciel have taken my heart and it is my hope that you will never let it go. If ever I lost you, I would die as well."

"I wouldn't want you to. I want you to be -" Sebastian tilted Ciel's head up and kissed him lovingly.

"There is no life without you." Sebastian rested his head against the headboard but continued to hold Ciel close.

"You amaze me, you have no fear of the monster that holds you now, you seem to prefer this to the butler you knew."

"I like monsters." Ciel said with a smile.

"Is that so?"

"It is."

"you don't know how terrible I can be, you have witnessed only a fraction of what I am capable of. I fear that should you know the kind of monster I truly am, you would turn away from me."

"If I was going to, I would have already. I knew what you are the day we met. I'm here for you just like you've been for me. You should try to rest though. The healer said it's important.I'm not going anywhere."

"are you feeling better then?"

"Yes. You can let me go now if you want."

"My dear Ciel, what if I never do?"

"Then, you'll just have to be stuck with me for an eternity." Sebastian pulled him closer and rested his head on top of Ciel's.

"Together forever...I like the sound of that." Ciel cuddled up to him.

"So do I."


	4. Chapter 4

Ciel opened his eyes to find himself lying beside Sebastian. The older demon still had him wrapped up in his arms. Sebastian had insisted that Ciel rest more comfortably, Ciel had protested but in his condition, he realized that he didn't have the energy to argue. He allowed Sebastian to lay him down and cover him much in the way he would when the boy was human, only this time Sebastian held him.

"I sense your concern Ciel, it will be alright, rest now, as long as you and I are together, there is nothing that we cannot do. I shall live,you mustn't worry so." Sebastian had whispered. Ciel was comforted by his words and both had drifted off into sleep.

"Master Ciel, how are you feeling?" Cynna asked softly.

"Much better."

"Excellent, may I have a word while master Sebastian rests, you needn't get up."

"Of course."

"I wish to tell you that I have been with master Sebastian since he was very small, as such he means the world to me and I am most grateful to you for all you have done. You are giving him back his life. I feel that you should know that your love for him is not only a gift to master Sebastian, but to myself as well. I feel that at this point, you will always love and care for each would not surprise me at all if the two of you truly do spend your lives together. If it comes to it, if he asks you,You have my complete trust. You have my respect and I welcome you with open arms."Ciel smiled

"Thank you really means a lot to me."

"I speak the truth, never has anyone loved another as the pair of you. I hope that you will always be at his side and he at yours. Can I get anything for you?"

"Just a couple of glasses. Sebastian should be taking more when he wakes up."

"can you manage, after yesterday I-"

"I'll be fine. I'm worried about Sebastian more than anything."

"Truly you are very good to him." Cynna smiled. " I shall return shortly, please rest while you can." Cynna turned and exited the room.

Ciel settled back and closed his eyes.

"Are you alright Ciel?" Sebastian's velvety soft voice whispered from beside him. The young demon opened his eyes.

"I'm fine. Are you feeling better?"

"Slightly I think. Have you been wake long?"

"No.I sent Cynna to get the glasses so you could -"

"Ciel, each day, several times a day, you provide me with a life saving treatment, and as a direct result, you become tired and I worry that you may be over doing it. If at any time you feel that you can no longer -"

"You worry too much. The healer said that once you've gotten better, it won't be so hard on me, I'll adjust to it and then it won't happen so much. It's rest Sebastian." Sebastian smiled.

"What are you smirking at?"

"I never thought that I would have the chance to hold you this way. Nor would I ever hear those three words from you. But here you are, next to me, keeping me alive...young master."

"Damn Demon." Ciel said. Sebastian shifted himself to be closer to Ciel.

"Ciel?"

"What?" Sebastian kissed him lovingly.

"Would you ever consider... Allowing me to keep you?" Ciel looked into his former butler's eyes.

"you mean forever?" He asked.

"much longer if somehow possible." The ill demon replied.

Ciel pretended to think it over.

"Only if you get better and worry less, at least until you're out of bed."

"You my dear are a shrewd negotiator. I agree to try not to worry so much."

"Good. Cynna should be here soon." Ciel knew he would have to get up, but was enjoying the strong feeling of love Sebastian was giving him. He cuddled closer to wait for Cynna.


	5. Chapter 5

"No, Mother he's -" Sebastian thought for a moment. "Ciel is the most precious thing in existence to me." He said into the phone.

"My son, I am happy that you are feeling better, your father and I were so worried, I'm sure your Ciel is wonderful and for saving your life, he has my eternal gratitude. Are you sure, if I tell your father of this -"

"Mother, Ciel is the one and only being that could possibly be my mate. Around him my heart is filled with love, it's him, there is no mistake."

"I understand, if you are absolutely sure I will inform your father of this situation and when you are well enough, I would very much like to meet this amazing demon you speak so highly of. Never have I heard you speak in this way about anyone. He must be important indeed."

"Mother, I promise you that I have never felt this strongly for anyone, I love him more than my own life, more than I could ever love anyone. He is my mate."

"You plan to ask him then?" Ann asked, Sebastian could tell by her tone that she was trying to hold back her own feeling of happiness.

"As soon as I'm well enough."

"And you believe he would chose an eternity at your side as a mate, I suppose my concern is that from what you told me of your contract, he knows you as a servant. A mate is not the same thing as a butler. His expectations may be that you will continue to serve him as a staff member."

"Ciel and I are well past our Master, butler have both changed and I will not pretend to you that I have not loved him even then. I am hopeful that he will consent to share my eternity."

"You are not certain my son?" Ann was becoming worried.

"He must,if my Ciel rejects my offer, I would surely die of a broken heart. I would not longer have the strength to go on,for he is my strength,my world and my heart." Sebastian did his best to ignore the pain that had begun to worsen in his stomach.

"Sebastian, are you alright?" His mother asked.

"I apologize mother but I need to go for the moment, we shall talk again soon."

"Very well my son, rest and be well soon."

"I shall try." After ending the conversation, Sebastian shifted himself on the bed, he moaned involuntarily as the pain became sharp. He nuzzled Ciel who was asleep at his side.

"Ciel my love." He called, the young demon opened his eyes sleepily.

"Are you feeling well?" Sebastian questioned.

"I'm fine,do you want it?" Ciel sat up.

"I'm afraid I must ask, yes." Ciel filled the goblet he had placed on the bedside table before giving it to Sebastian.

"Thank you." The older demon said then drank the contents quickly.

"Are you alright, you never drink it so fast, do you want more?"

"No. I won't allow it, I've had enough for the time being. I simply need to rest now."

"I don't mind."

"I know love, but I do. I will not have a repeat from the other day. I would rather die than cause you suffering."

"Sebastian, it goes away, I promise you it fine. Do you have any idea what would happen to me if you died?"

"I would never leave you alone Ciel, you would always be protected, should something happen to me,everything I have is yours, including Cynna. I-"

"You have some interesting possessions Sebastian, but I would rather have you. Don't you understand that?"

"I do. However, your life is more important to me than my own. If I cause you pain and suffering, I should not be permitted to continue living. I-" Ciel pulled the empty goblet away from Sebastian and filled it again.

"you're not permitted to die, ever. You don't have a choice,take it." He said handing it back.

"Ciel -"

"Shut up and take it." Sebastian did as he was told and the pain began to subside.

"Thank you." The older demon said putting the goblet down and closing his eyes. He felt Ciel settle in next to him and smiled.

"Sebastian?" Ciel called out.

"Yes?"

"How did you get to be a demon, was it like me?"

"No love, I was born into this life."

"Demons have children?" Ciel was surprised by this information.

"Some 's not very common but it happens on occasion, in most cases, it either happens accidentally with a female human,the children rarely survive and many times the mother dies as the case of two demons having a child, well you don't see many demon parents. They elect to not carry the child."

"That's really sad."

"It's our way Ciel. I never said it was a pleasant thing."

"Have you ever had -"

"No. I have no children." Sebastian said "As much as my mother wishes it."

"Your mother, you never talk about your family,but you know so much about mine. What's your mother like?"

"She's not exactly what you might expect a demon to be. One day I hope to introduce you."

"You know, humans take special-"

"I know."

"What makes you sure this will last, there's no guarantee that any relationship will be forever."

"Are you here with me, keeping me alive when you have the option to leave any time you like?"

"Yes, but-"

"Did you hear those three words from me to you?"

"Yes."

"Never have I said them to anyone in this way. You return my love. By offering me my treatment, you have proven that you hold strong feelings for me as well. In giving me extra, and allowing yourself to feel the discomfort it causes, ours is a love to rival all others. I think in time you will know that." Sebastian shifted uneasily on the bed once more.

Without a word, Ciel filled the goblet a third time.

"If it makes you feel better,,I really won't be able to do this again until later." He said feeling the room spin as he laid back down.

Several moments later, Sebastian ran his long, slender fingers through Ciel's hair.

"You are far too good to me, what can I do to make it up to you?"

"get well, that's all I need from you currently."

"I shall be happy to oblige. This Ciel, is how I know our love is eternal."


	6. Chapter 6

"How are you feeling today?" The healer asked as he began examining Sebastian.

"At the present time, I feel fine. Ciel has seen to that." Sebastian thought for a moment.

"Would you mind checking on him before you leave today, for my own peace of mind?"

"Of course I will, has he been feeling ill as well?"

"Ciel has been providing me with more than the minimum amount required, as a result he's been having some dizziness and fatigue."

"How much exactly?" The healer asked.

"When my pain is too much,he has been giving me two to three in a row so that I may rest easily."

"I'm -I'm sorry,two to three at a time?" The healer asked in astonishment.

"Yes." Sebastian answered.

"You must mean a lot to him. Is he taking the fluids I've given?"

"Yes, as far as I know every time he provides a feeding."

"Good. When we're done here, I'll talk with him. I'm impressed that he can manage, he hasn't said anything about pain or feeling faint at all?"

"Every once in a while he will tell me that he feels dizzy and need to sit down."

"Nothing else?"

"Not that I've noticed."

"Alright, when you get those bad pains, how bad are they exactly?"

"The worst I've ever felt. Luckily, Ciel doesn't allow it to continue for long. He will give me as much as I need to rest comfortably."

"My advice to you my prince, if I may offer it, Keep him. You will find so few that will go beyond one goblet no more than thrice a day. Truly you are fortunate to have such a demon in your life."

"Yes,Ciel is very special. I will never be able to repay him for his gift. " the Healer smirked.

"I've known you since you were born, never in all these years have I heard you speak so highly of anyone, Cynna included. Ciel does seem to think the world of you. He's very unique as far as demons go,even the ones who were once human."

"My Ciel is at my side always, he has a very good bedside manner most of the time whether he admits it or not." Sebastian was beginning to feel sick again, he closed his eyes and sighed.

"This is why starving yourself isn't advisable. I can get Ciel for you and -"

"I'm right here." Ciel announced approaching the bed, goblet already in hand.

He handed it to the older demon.

"How did you -"

"I had a feeling." Sebastian emptied the goblet slowly and placed it on the night stand.

"Thank you." Ciel took Sebastian's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Since you're here love, I would appreciate it if you allowed the healer to have a look at you as well." He requested.

"Sebastian, I told you, I'm fine and you don't have to worry about me."

"As I mentioned many times before, I will always worry about you,please,for me?" The older demon pleaded. "I would feel so much better."

"Fine,but I've told you that I'm fine." Ciel replied.

"Ciel, if you would just sit down on the other side of the bed, I'll get started and be done before long." Ciel complied and the healer began.

"have you been feeling alright?" He asked

"For the most part."

"Good, I've been told that you have been offering two to three goblets at times how do you feel after that?"

"really tired." Ciel said.

"anything else?" The young demon thought about his answer.

"Ciel, it's important to me that you tell him everything, please don't hesitate because you worry that it might upset me."

"I feel dizzy,and drained after the third one." Sebastian felt a rush of guilt. He knew it could have been avoided.

"have you been having any pain or fainting?"

"No."

"He nearly did the other day." Sebastian added.

"Nearly doesn't count." Ciel replied.

"It does when it's a matter of keeping you from -"

"Let's not argue, you need to rest and Ciel, I think that to give him more than one in the times he needs it most is a very good thing to do, however. If you're going to do that, you will need to take more of the fluids."

"How is it good if it makes him-"

"Quiet Sebastian." Ciel ordered.

"You no longer get to say that and certainly not if you're to be ill tending to me."

"Will you tell him I'm going to be fine?" Ciel asked becoming irritated.

"He'll be alright, just be careful, no more than three at a time, wait until the dizziness goes away before giving taking the fluids, if you give three, take four. That will cut back on this feeling. Also Ciel, if you feel like you need it, lie down for a while."

"I have been."

"Good. I'll leave a few more bottles, if you get low, send Cynna to me and I will get it for you, other than that, I think you're both doing very well. Sebastian has a way to go yet, but keep taking care of each other and I shall return to check on you in a week. If you need anything before then, send for me."

"We will." Ciel promised as he watched the healer leave.

He turned to Sebastian who had pushed himself into a sitting position with a great deal of difficulty.

"You don't trust me." Ciel stated without looking at Sebastian.

"I trust you with my life, your life however I have my doubts."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The anger was clear.

"It means that if I had not asked you to tell him everything, you would not have done least not in my presence. I don't want you to hide these things, if something happened to you Ciel, It would break me. I couldn't go on, you know this. Shielding me from your situation is never a good idea. If you are ill, say so. I will take care of you and give you whatever you need. I can't do that for you if you are not honest with me. I do understand your reason but please try not to protect me, it is and always will be my responsibility, my privilege to protect you from harm, not the other way around." Sebastian explained softly.

"You've done your job, I'm not your responsibility anymore, isn't that why you sent your friends to me?"

"I sent them because you refused to allow me to care for you myself. You are not a chore Ciel, I get a sense of fulfillment, happiness in caring for you. My role is your protector."

"It's not, I've learned to be more independent Sebastian, all this time on my own, you don't have to do that anymore." Sebastian's crimson eyes filled with sadness at the demon's words.

"You no longer need me." He said he wanted to be happy for Ciel.

Suddenly, Ciel moved closer and kissed him, Sebastian wrapped his arms around the younger demon lovingly. Once the kiss ended, Ciel rested his forehead against Sebastian's.

"I'll always need you to be in my life. There won't ever be a single day that i don't want you with me. But I'm not human anymore, I'm not made of glass, I won't be broken so easily. I can take care of myself, that should take some of the pressure off you."

"So you can care for yourself you say, perhaps that's true but my darling Ciel, you still cannot button your shirt properly." Sebastian chuckled before fixing them.

"There, see I told I'd always need you." Ciel smiled.

"I love you so much Ciel, more than you will ever know. I know I say it often but I feel as though I can never say it enough."

"I love you too." Ciel leaned into Sebastian and placed his head on his chest. Sebastian held him close. Sebastian had been surprised that Ciel liked to be held, as the young master, Ciel had been quite different. Sebastian had loved the human, he loved the demon who now lay in his arms. Nothing would ever take his Ciel from him again, he could feel it in his heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Sebastian looked around the darkened place, a stone bench sat in front of him. He knew this place all too well by now. He fell to his knees as the pain began to fill him.

"I cannot take this pain, why must it continue to fill my heart?"

"Sebastian." Ciel called suddenly appearing on the bench. Anger was visible on his face.

"Ciel, I was so -"

"This is your fault you know." He said coldly.

"Ciel, I can't tell you how painful this is for me to know -"

"Painful for you, what about me, I died because of you, you left me alone and I died. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be alive. I'd be grown and have the life I should have had!" He shouted.

"I wanted nothing more than to give you that life, that's why I left. Please try to understand." Sebastian pleaded.

"You knew I couldn't look after myself and you left, you failed me. You failed in your job to protect me. Where were you when I needed you Sebastian, watching from the bloody rooftop while the fire took over everything?"

"Ciel, I came back to you."

"By then it was too late. You let me die, you deserve to feel this pain." The words cut into his heart.

"Please Ciel, I love you so much."

"what do you know about love,who could ever love a thing like you?"Ciel crossed his arms over his chest.

"No one, I-You don't understand,I died with you in so many ways." Sebastian replied as the tears began to fall.

"Is that right,why would you let my soul be taken by another, you never cared. You wanted to torture me, an eternity with something like you,you're a monster and that's all you will ever be. This is your fault and I won't ever forgive you. You have to live with what you did to me. I'll be a constant reminder of how badly you failed,every time you look at me, you're going to know." Sebastian opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a gun being fired. He looked up to find Ciel lying on the ground. His face was pale and his clothes were stained in crimson.

"Ciel!" The older demon cried out.

Sebastian let out a loud roar that quickly was replaced by an sorrowful cry.

"Sebastian." Ciel called again, this time from behind him. The tone was much more gentle than before. The older demon turned from the body to the young demon now kneeling at his side.

"Ciel, I -I'm sorry sorry." Sebastian sobbed. Ciel wrapped his arm around Sebastian pulling him closer so that the former butler was resting his head on the boy's chest.

"I failed you, how could you possibly love such a beast, I caused -"

"But that isn't right is it, you have to let that go. You'll stop coming here if you just let go. I'm here with you now. I do love you and it's not your fault, that's all wrong. I love you." He said softly.

"But you were just telling me how -"

"No. That wasn't me, it's your own fear and guilt. I'm right here and I always will be."

"Y-you truly believe that I didn't -"

"You did what you thought would be best for me. You couldn't have known what would happen. "

"I should have stayed at your side, i-" Ciel had forced Sebastian to look at him, he placed a hand on the older demon's cheek and kissed him.

"It's all over now Sebastian. I love you and I'm right here with you." He said kissing him once wrapped his arms around Ciel and ran his fingers through the boy's hair.

"You are so precious to me, never go where I cannot get you back." Sebastian pleaded.

"Never." Ciel promised still holding onto him.

"Master Ciel, is he alright, I heard the most horrific - was he having a nightmare?" Cynna asked noticing Ciel holding Sebastian's hand and stroking his black hair.

"It has to be a nightmare, it was last time he made that sound. I spoke to him and now he seems to be calm. As if he heard me in his sleep ."

"Perhaps he did. He's been known to speak during sleep." Cynna added.

"Ciel?" Sebastian called out, the young demon looked to Cynna.

"Go on." The demon butler encouraged.

"Ciel,where are you"" Sebastian began to panic and toss.

"I'm here Sebastian, right beside you. I'm not going to leave."

"Ciel, I was so afraid I'd lost you, afraid that you no longer loved me."

"You haven't lost me Sebastian, I'll always be right here and I'm always going to love 'll always have me."

"I'm a terrible monster, I should never have -"

"Can you really hear me?"

"Yes love. I am not worthy of - I'm such a monster." He fretted.

"You might be a monster,but you're my monster and I love you as you are. Come back to me now Sebastian."

"I mustn't,I have done so much -"

"It doesn't matter,I want you to wake up now."

"I failed my master,I let him die." Ciel sighed.

"Sebastian." He called in the same forceful voice he had used as the demon's master.

"My lord?"

"Yes, stop this. You did your job, you haven't failed. Wake up now, that's an order!" Sebastian opened his eyes and looked to the former Earl.

"Ciel, i-I had-"

"Another nightmare, I know. You're alright now, I want you to eat something."

"I don't believe I can. You hated me then I watched you -I just could not seem to-" Ciel brushed a strand of hair out of Sebastian's face lovingly.

"I don't hate you,you know that."

"That's exactly what the other you said and then -" Sebastian stopped, he tried to calm himself.

"Then you came and held me. I don't quite understand it but -"

"Maybe it was telling you that you need to let go of those feelings and leave the past behind you." Ciel said

"Then something strange happened, you told me to wake and I did. Ciel I'm so sorry for everything, I never intended for you to die."

"I know, I'm not angry, that's all over now it's okay. I'm here now and I love you."The young demon handed Sebastian a goblet

"Ciel, will you lie down with me for a while, I just need you close." Tears were visible in Sebastian's eyes. Ciel nodded and walked to the other side of the bed, he laid down close as the older the goblet was empty, Sebastian leaned back. He held his Ciel so that the boy was resting his head on his chest.

"Try to relax now. I'm not going anywhere."

"Swear it, please?"

"I've said it before, I'm always going to be here...forever."


	8. Chapter 8

Sebastian woke to find Ciel had kept his promise, the boy was still sleeping peacefully at his side.

Since Ciel had accepted the request to lie with him, he hadn't had the nightmare again. He lay still, Ciel was too good for him, he knew it and yet there he was. After a moment Sebastian's thoughts turned to other matters. He was beginning to feel better and he knew that his Ciel would be going back to his own home after he recovered. Sebastian knew it wouldn't be easy for either of them and he would have to do something.

"My beautiful Ciel, I cannot risk losing you yet again, the way you make me feel is simply incredible. You are amazing and I was a fool to have ever let you go. I can admit that. I can also admit that I would be nothing without you at my side. I fully intend to repeat this when you wake. Please understand that I have something very important to ask of you and should you refuse,though it is your right to do so, my heart will shatter beyond repair." He said softly.

In truth, he had no idea what the answer would be. After all,you could be in love with someone and not want to be together in that way, but he needed to try.

"Master, are you alright?" Cynna asked noticing Sebastian staring blankly at the closet across from the bed.

"Master?" He called again.

Finally, Sebastian turned to his butler.

"I do apologize Cynna, I was deep in thought. Were you saying something?"Cynna smiled faintly.

"You were thinking of Master Ciel?"

"My Ciel is always in my thoughts,he means the world to me time I hold him, I have a rare treasure in my arms,more valuable than any riches in the world and I don't want to let him go."

"what do you plan to do then to prevent it?"

"I will make him an offer,one that will enable us to be together eternally. I wish to share this life with him as well as my title. With Ciel at my side, I will be truly happy. Ours is a love like nothing in existence. I had hoped to offer this while he was human. Though I didn't allow myself, I wanted something better for him Cynna."

"I know this to be true master and Ciel seems to be very clever. I'm willing to bet my life that he knows as well. I would also stake my life on the the answer to your question will be in your favor." The older demon smiled.

"Are you that certain Cynna?"

"I am indeed. Your love for each other is unmatched, this you have said yourself sir. If you believe such a thing, how can the answer be anything else?"

"You can love someone and still not wish to be bonded. Perhaps -"

"pardon the interruption master, but take a good look at master Ciel, he is in fact asleep in your arms, no one else's. He pledged to forever be at your side, please help me to understand the fear you have after all he has done for you."

"He is still very young Cynna, thought he has been a demon for three years, he has much to learn in order for father to accept him completely. He has a long road ahead and eternity in a place like this can be less than enchanting. Ciel is not like a true demon, he still needs so much, I fear that I will not understand how to give it."

"You already do Sir, or he would not be here now. It's true that you have known him longer however he has shown me how deep his affection runs for you. You may very well be the devil's youngest son, but you will find no one else who cares for you as the one resting beside you. He will learn and adapt to his new situation and he will excell in it because you will never allow him to fall. I have known you since you were born and I know quite a bit more than you may think."

"It seems so. How do I ask something like this, to condemn the one I love to such a life, I don't know if I could see him go through all of this." Cynna chuckled.

"Master, you haven't condemned him at all, you are offering him an eternally love that can't be destroyed. You-"

"Mordred has always been jealous, always wanted what I have, if he-"

"Now Master, when master Ciel says yes, and your brother meets him, there could be conflict however, master Ciel knows what his heart wants and i guarantee you that he will care little for your brother. You do trust him correct?"

"my doubt is not with Ciel. I don't trust mordred at all. Should he ever try to harm my treasure-"

"You will teach him to respect your love master, I believe in that. I also believe that master ciel is in many ways, your destiny. You were always meant for great things sir, but one cannot make it through life without having someone in their corner can one?"

"You are very wise my friend, thank you for your help. I know what I must do, though it may not be easy for us." Sebastian replied.

"Just remember sir, we know what happens when Master Ciel leaves your side, he clearly loves his independence, but he loves you so much more." Cynna turned to leave but stopped at the door.

"please keep in mind that if you choose to follow what your heart tells you, you can't be wrong." He said before disappearing from view. Sebastian smiled looking down at Ciel who still slept peacefully with his head on his former butler's chest. He nuzzled Ciel softly.

"Listen to my heart he tells me, well then my Ciel, what is it that you will tell me?"


	9. Chapter 9

Ciel looked over at Sebastian as they waited for the healer to visit. The older demon was regaining his strength and soon would not need to remain on bed rest. The two demons sat quietly in the bed. Ciel was happy to see Sebastian feeling better now but was sad because he knew that Sebastian's recovery would mean that he would return to his empty house, to the dark, hollow feeling he had come to know since releasing Sebastian from their contract.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Ciel said breaking the long silence.

"Thank you, it was good of you to help me and I shan't forget it. If ever you need anything, please contact me, I will do all I can to help you." Ciel nodded.

"I'll do that." He replied, he had no intention of doing so, Sebastian would have his on problems to worry about.

"Ciel, you know that I love you very much don't you?" Sebastian took his former master's hand.

"I know, I love you too." Another long silence followed.

"So what will you do,for food I mean. You will eat won't you?" Sebastian gave Ciel's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I will,you have my word. I suppose I will have to return to the contract business."

"Yes, I suppose I should learn how that works from this side of things."

"Ciel, I could never-"

"Masters, the healer has arrived." Cynna said bowing his deer like antlers forced Sebastian to grin in amusement.

"Please send him in."

Cynna entered the hall and was returned a second later with the guest.

"How are you two feeling today?" He asked setting down his bag.

"much better. I believe I am ready to resume my normal activities." The healer glanced at Sebastian skeptically.

"I'll be the judge of that, am I to examine young Ciel as well?"

"No"

"Yes" Ciel shot Sebastian a look.

"Please, just for my own peace of mind,as before. I simply cannot allow you to leave here and not be well enough to be on your own. It's not much to ask." Ciel sighed.

"Sebastian -"

"Ciel, I just need to know that you will be alright please?" Sebastian pleaded.

"You were worried about it before and I-"

"Please?" Sebastian began to nuzzle Ciel lovingly causing the boy to smile."

"Alright,fine. But I want you to relax, I'm okay."

"Thank you very much, I am so happy that you agree."

"I want you to be checked out first."

"Of course my love,anything for you." The healer took out the stethoscope and placed it on Sebastian's chest. He listened only a moment before removing the instrument.

"Your heart is strong, how is your stomach?"

"I've had very little pain the past few days, though today, I have yet to feel any at all." Sebastian answered.

"Good. You seem much stronger. Do you have any concerns about how you feel?"

"None. My Ciel has seen to that."

"do you feel as if you are close to your normal strength?"

"I do."

"good. I must check for tenderness, although you feel no pain, it may occur when you touched." Sebastian leaned back against the pillow and allowed the healer to finish his task.

"Nothing?"

"No. I felt not even the smallest discomfort."

"Excellent. I'm going to advise you to remain in bed a few days more. After that, if you still feel well, you can begin to build yourself up to your activities. Keep in mind the importance of eating normally." He turned his attention to Ciel.

"now then, how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"You're certain?" Sebastian asked from beside him.

"I would know wouldn't I?"

"You would, we would not. I only want you to be well."

"I know you do, and i am well."

"Ciel, would you lie back for me please?" Ciel complied,he felt a sudden wave of dizziness, Sebastian knew something was wrong in an instant.

"What is it?"

"N-"

"Before you answer my question, I hope you intend to tell not just the truth, but the entire truth. You mustn't shield me from it Ciel." Sebastian said softly.

"I feel dizzy suddenly,I was alright sitting there, I don't know what caused it."The healer nodded.

"Have you been taking the liquid I gave you?"

"Yes, exactly how you said it."

"Are you feeling hungry at all?"The healer asked examining Ciel.

"No."

"This started just when you laid down?"

"Yes. I was alright until then."

"Any pains?"Ciel shook his head.

"I'm just dizzy."

"It sounds like the liquid is starting to be ineffective for you. It's a rare occurrence but it happens with prolonged use. He'll be okay for now but he's going to need a source of food for himself very soon."

"I don't even know how the contracts work from this side of things, what -"

"You needn't worry about that Ciel, you will never need to find out. I am stronger now and I will take care of you. It is the very least I can do." Sebastian offered.

"No, you were just really ill, you can't do that. I'll-"

"I have gone through countless contracts and it's not something I would ever want for you. It's my hope that you never have to call anyone master allow me to care for you."

"Now that he's doing better, if you were to allow him to give you no more than half a goblet and mix it with the liquid, you will have enough to get you through until you can come up with another solution. If Sebastian is willing to do this for you,well, I've known him all his life and he wouldn't make this offer to anyone, you must be very important to him. " the healer explained putting his equipment back into his bag.

"Please my Ciel, you've seen what can happen when a demon refuses food. I-"

"I'm not refusing it, I'm just refusing to let you give it to me. I can find my own source, I appreciate the offer but I don't want you to be ill again. If I caused it a second time, I-" Sebastian pulled the young demon close, he held Ciel lovingly.

"You didn't cause this,i did it to myself. I never ever want you to believe that you've harmed me in any way. You released me so that this could have been avoided, i simply didn't take the opportunity and that blame lies with me. Please Ciel, if you're so determined to have a contract, allow me to feed you until then, when I'm no longer in need of bed rest, i will teach you how it works."

"Only til then?" Ciel asked clearly concerned.

"If that's what you wish Ciel, though I would much rather you didn't put yourself through it. "

"Only til then Sebastian. I mean it." The older demon smiled faintly.

"Of course Ciel, should you change your mind, i would be more than happy to -"

"I won't, this is my final word." Ciel replied firmly.

"We shall see my love. One day you may rethink that decision and when you do, I will be right here, always."


	10. Chapter 10

"Are you certain I can't ask you to stay?"Sebastian asked walking Ciel to the door.

"I shouldn't, but you're still going to teach me aren't you?"

"As promised, yes, if you must leave, can I at least take you home?" Ciel turned to him.

"You're supposed to stay close to here and build up to it. I'll be back tomorrow morning, I'll leave you something to eat."

"Perhaps you would be so kind as to stay for dinner tomorrow night?" Ciel nodded.

"I could do that I suppose. If you want to."

"Yes, it would be rather nice. Would you like me to send Cynna with you to make sure you make it home alright?"Sebastian stepped outside to stand next to Ciel.

"I'll be fine, it's not that you're hungry before morning, you can call me and I'll come back..just until you can find a contract." Ciel didn't look at Sebastian.

"Right, I suppose I should go now, you should go back in and relax, you've been through a lot." The young demon commented.

"We both have, but if you find yourself hungry, please know that I am here."

"I'll keep that in mind." A long silence followed in which the two demon stood still seemingly waiting for the other to change their mind.

"I'll be off then, see you in the morning." The former earl could do little to hide his sadness.

"Very well, until tomorrow then." Ciel sighed.

"Yes,tomorrow." He repeated before beginning his journey home. Sebastian watched silently for a moment before disappearing into the house. He closed the front door and leaned against it.

"Master, are you alright sir,shall I call the healer, you seem a bit out of it." Cynna inquired but received no reply. Sebastian was deep in thought. His Ciel had just left him once more, he allowed him to walk out. What else could he do, Ciel was not one to change his mind very often. If he wanted to leave who was Sebastian to stop him? Even if his heart was crying out for his former master. Sebastian only wanted what was best for him.

Listen to your heart sir, you will never be wrong' Cynna's words came back to him suddenly.

"Master?" Sebastian smiled and placed a hand on his butler's shoulder.

"Cynna my old friend,I must say how grateful I am to you, your advice has shown me the path I must follow, for you see, sometimes the answer lies not in what your heart is telling you, but what it is not. My Ciel is my heart and in saying so little, he has spoken volumes to me." Cynna tilted his head in confusion.

"I-I'm terribly sorry sir, I don't understand."

"Ciel hesitated to leave me,just as I was hoping to stall him. His words said he must leave but I believe I know exactly what he was waiting for. Which makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing standing around here." Sebastian opened the door and began walking in the direction of Ciel's home.

Ciel made his way slowly through the streets, he dreaded returning to the live of emptiness that waited for him . No one would be waiting for him, only the cold, dark void that gripped his heart. He bowed his head, he wasn't far from Sebastian and yet he felt worlds away from him. He planned on going right to bed, too emotionally drained from his thoughts to care.

"Ciel." He didn't have to to turn around before he was lifted from the ground and found himself being nuzzled softly.

"Sebastian, what the hell are you doing?"He asked in surprise.

"That my love is exactly what I asked myself. Until I found my answer. I have heard what you weren't saying with your words and I feel the same.I want you to come back with me."

"I told you I -"Sebastian turned around with his beloved Ciel in his arms.

"I don't like to be told no. I cannot accept it as an answer, you simply must come." He said continuing his affectionate smiled. He lightly touched Sebastian's cheek and the demon stopped,gazing into his eyes.

"Fine, if that's what you really want."

"It is indeed Ciel, forever and always." Sebastian kissed him lovingly. When finally they broke the kiss,Ciel rested his forehead against Sebastian's.

"Thank you for hearing what I wasn't saying, I didn't think you would come." Sebastian kissed him once more.

"Listen to me Ciel, I will always come for you, so long as I live to the last breath, I will always come, you will only ever need one word. I love you my Ciel, Such an evening I have to share with you. Tonight is very special and I wish to share it with you."

"What's so special about tonight?"

"You will see my love, it will be a day that neither of us will ever forget. An event so rare and beautiful that it must be shared with someone who brings your heart joy."

"Sounds like fun."

"It will be my love,it will change our lives forever." Sebastian said as he carried Ciel back to his home,He had to tell Cynna of this plan it had to be perfect, as they made their way through the streets, neither one cared that the other demons were watching and whispering among themselves, each one curious as to what it would mean for their prince, many hoped for the best.

A/N wow, it looks like you guys really like these stories. I've been asked for more new ones and I can't tell you what that means to me. Thank you so much!


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